“
Disgusting. Offensive. Stupid.
”
—Official Tagline
Postal is a 2007 action/comedy film directed by Uwe Boll and stars Zack Ward, Dave Foley, Chris Coppola, Jackie Tohn, J.K. Simmons, and the late Verne Troyer. It was based on the infamous 2003 Video Game of the same name.
A phony cult leader (Dave Foley) hires a jobless trailer-park denizen (Zack Ward) to help him carry out his plot to save his compound from closure. Meanwhile, Osama bin Laden and his minions plan to lace copies of a popular cartoon character with biological agents.
Victims[]
Before the Film[]
- Unnamed Woman's Grandfather - Killed by Nazis in Auschwitz off-screen during World War 2, mentioned.
- Asif - Killed when the plane crashed into the North Tower of World Trade Center on the orders of Osama bin Laden and President George W. Bush. Shared kill. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Nabi - Killed when the plane crashed into the North Tower of World Trade Center on the orders of Osama bin Laden and President George W. Bush. Shared kill. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Unnamed Male Window Washer - Killed when the plane crashed into the North Tower of World Trade Center on the orders of Osama bin Laden and President George W. Bush. Shared kills. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Six Unnamed People - Killed when the plane crashed into the North Tower of World Trade Center on the orders of Osama bin Laden and President George W. Bush. Shared kills. (Fictional Portrayal)
- 2,606 Unknown People - Died in the Twin Towers during the 9/11 terrorist attack on the orders of Osama bin Laden and President George W. Bush. Shared kills. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 2,616
During the Film[]
- Unnamed Asian Woman - Blown to pieces by Officer Greg with a shotgun.
- Unnamed Male Security Guard - Shot to death by the bank robber with a pistol.
- Unnamed Man - Accidentally shot by a security guard with a pistol.
- Three Unnamed Men - Shot to death by the bank robber with a pistol.
- Unnamed Male Panhandler - Accidentally shot by the Postal Dude with a pistol.
- Candidate Welles - Blown up by a suicide bomber.
- Unnamed Male Suicide Bomber - Committed suicide by detonating his suicide vest.
- Harry the Wheelchair Guy - Accidentally shot by Uwe Boll with a pistol.
- Vince Desiderio - Shot to death by Uwe Boll with a pistol.
- Unnamed Boy - Accidentally shot by a terrorist with an assault rifle.
- Two Unnamed Boys - Accidentally shot by either Uwe Boll or a terrorist.
- Unnamed Girl - Accidentally shot by either Uwe Boll or a terrorist.
- Two Unnamed Boys - Accidentally shot by either Uwe Boll or a terrorist.
- Unnamed Man - Accidentally shot by either Uwe Boll or a terrorist.
- Unnamed Male Show Host - Accidentally shot by either Uwe Boll or a terrorist.
- Uwe Boll - Shot in the penis by a terrorist with an assault rifle. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Unnamed Welfare Lady - Ran over by the Postal Dude with a van.
- 53 Unnamed Children - Shot to death by either Uwe Boll or a terrorist off-screen, bodies seen in a news report.
- 12 Unnamed People - Killed by terrorists off-screen, bodies seen.
- Unnamed Male Terrorist - Shot in the head by the Postal Dude with a cat-silenced pistol.
- Five Unnamed People - Killed by terrorists off-screen, bodies seen.
- Verne Jay Troyer - Either raped to death by monkeys under the orders of Richie or died when all of the world's nukes were launched, fired by Osama bin Laden and George W. Bush. Shared kill. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Uncle Dave - Shot in the chest by Richie with a revolver.
- Starr - Committed suicide by eating a poisoned brownie.
- Two Unnamed Male Terrorists - Shot to death by the Postal Dude with two pistols.
- Unnamed Male Terrorist - Shot to death by either the Postal Dude, Mitzi, Jenny, Cindy, or Karen.
- Unnamed Male Terrorist - Shot to death by Karen with a pistol.
- Unnamed Male Terrorist - Shot to death by Cindy with a revolver.
- Unnamed Male Terrorist - Shot to death by Mitzi, Jenny, Cindy, and Karen.
- Mitzi - Shot in the breast by Jenny with a pistol.
- Jenny - Shot in the head by Mitzi with a revolver.
- 17 Unnamed People - Shot to death by the Postal Dude with an LMG.
- Unnamed Male Terrorist - Shot to death by the Postal Dude with a revolver.
- Unnamed Man - Shot to death by the Postal Dude with a pistol.
- Unnamed Male Cyclist - Shot in the head by the Postal Dude with a revolver.
- Unnamed Baby - Accidentally ran over by the Postal Dude with a van.
- Cooter - Shot to death by the Postal Dude with an LMG.
- Unnamed Woman - Shot to death by the Postal Dude with a pistol.
- Three Unnamed Men - Shot to death by Faith with two pistols.
- Three Unnamed Man - Shot to death by the Postal Dude with an LMG.
- Unnamed Woman - Shot to death by the Postal Dude with an LMG.
- Unnamed Man - Shot to death by the Postal Dude with an LMG.
- Unnamed Male Terrorist - Shot to death by the Postal Dude with an LMG.
- Unnamed Man - Shot to death by the Postal Dude with an LMG.
- Unnamed Woman - Shot to death by the Postal Dude with an LMG.
- Four Unnamed Male Terrorists - Shot to death by the Postal Dude with an LMG.
- Unnamed Woman - Shot to death by the Postal Dude with an LMG.
- Two Unnamed Male Terrorists - Shot to death by the Postal Dude with an LMG.
- Unnamed Woman - Shot to death by the Postal Dude with an LMG.
- Unnamed Male Terrorist - Shot to death by the Postal Dude with an LMG.
- Unnamed Man - Neck snapped by the Postal Dude.
- Mohammad - Accidentally blown up by a car bomb.
- Mr. Blither - Crushed by Mohammad's flying flaming car.
- Unnamed Male Terrorist - Burned to death when Mohammad's car exploded.
- Richard "Richie" - Shot in the head by the Postal Dude with a revolver.
- "The Bitch" - Blown up by the Postal Dude with a remote bomb.
- Officer Greg - Blown up by the Postal Dude with a remote bomb.
- Officer John - Blown up by the Postal Dude with a remote bomb.
- Unnamed Man - Either died when he was hit in the head by a falling wrench or blown up after all of the world's nukes were launched.
- Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden - Died after launching all of the world's nukes. (Fictional Portrayal)
- President George Walker Bush - Died after launching all of the world's nukes. (Fictional Portrayal)
- The Postal Dude - Died when all of the world's nukes were launched, fired by Osama bin Laden and George W. Bush.
- Faith - Died when all of the world's nukes were launched, fired by Osama bin Laden and George W. Bush.
- Peter - Died when all of the world's nukes were launched, fired by Osama bin Laden and George W. Bush.
- Paul - Died when all of the world's nukes were launched, fired by Osama bin Laden and George W. Bush.
- Karen - Died when all of the world's nukes were launched, fired by Osama bin Laden and George W. Bush.
- Cindy - Died when all of the world's nukes were launched, fired by Osama bin Laden and George W. Bush.
- Reporter Gayle - Died when all of the world's nukes were launched, fired by Osama bin Laden and George W. Bush.
- Unnamed Male Bank Robber - Died when all of the world's nukes were launched, fired by Osama bin Laden and George W. Bush.
- 6,623,515,052 Unnamed People - Died when all of the world's nukes were launched fired by Osama bin Laden and George W. Bush, minus the 2,781 people already counted.
- Total - 6,623,515,217
Deaths[]
- Total - 6,623,517,833
- 6,623,517,752 Victims of Unknown Gender
- 65 Men
- 16 Women
Kill Counts[]
- Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden - 6,623,517,676 (All Shared) (Deceased)
- President George Walker Bush - 6,623,515,676 (All Shared) (Deceased)
- Asif - 2,613 (Deceased)
- Nabi - 2,613 (Deceased)
- Uwe Boll - 62 (60 Shared) (Deceased)
- The Postal Dude - 50 (Deceased)
- Cindy - 3 (Deceased)
- Faith - 3 (Deceased)
- Jenny - 3 (Deceased)
- Karen - 3 (Deceased)
- Mitzi - 3 (Deceased)
- Richard "Richie" - 2 (Deceased)
- Officer Greg - 1 (Deceased)
Notes[]
- Used Worldometer for world population in 2006 (6,623,517,833), when the film was set.
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