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Machete (Series)

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Machete Poster

The Machete Series is an American exploitation action film series written and directed by Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis. Based on the eponymous character from the Spy Kids franchise, the film series is an expansion of a fake trailer of the same name published as a part of the promotion of Rodriguez's and Quentin Tarantino's 2007 Grindhouse double-feature. Machete continues the B movie and exploitation style of Grindhouse, and includes some of the footage from the original. The series began in 2010 and concluded in 2013.

The series stars Danny Trejo as Machete, Michelle Rodriguez, Robert De Niro, Tom Savini, Electra and Elise Avellan, Felix Sabates, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, Daryl Sabara, Mel Gibson, Demián Bichir, Amber Heard, Sofía Vergara, Lady Gaga, Antonio Banderas, Cuba Gooding Jr., Vanessa Hudgens, Alexa Vega, William Sadler, Marko Zaror, and Charlie Sheen.

Victims[]

Machete[]

  • Machete's Partner - Shot by Thugs.
  • Unnamed Thug - Ran over by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Seven Unnamed Thugs - Slashed and Decapitated by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Two Unnamed Thugs - Shot by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Unnamed Female Henchman - Shot by another Female Henchman on the orders of Rogelio Torrez.
  • Isador "Machete" Cortez's Wife - Decapitated by Rogelio Torrez.
  • Unnamed Female Immigrant - Shot by Von Jackson.
  • Unnamed Male Immigrant - Shot by Senator John McLaughlin.
  • Six Unnamed Thugs - Shot by Michael Booth.
  • Unnamed Corrupt Cop - Stabbed by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Unnamed Corrupt Cop - Killed when Isador "Machete" Cortez caused the car to crash.
  • Three Unnamed Thugs - Slashed by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Unnamed Guard - Shot by the Sniper.
  • Unnamed Thug - Stomach slashed open then guts pulled out by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Unnamed Thug - Stabbed by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Unnamed Thug - Stabbed in the eye with a cork opener by Isador "Machete" Cortez
  • Unnamed Thug - Stabbed when Isador "Machete" Cortez threw a thermometer.
  • Unnamed Thug - Slashed in the face by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Unnamed Sniper - Strangled by Michael Booth with a USB cable.
  • Four Unnamed Thugs - Shot by Padre Benicio Del Toro.
  • Padre Benicio Del Toro - Crucified by Michael Booth.
  • Three Unnamed Thugs - Shot by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Unnamed Thug - Stabbed by Sartana Rivera.
  • Two Unnamed Thugs - Stabbed by Isador "Machete" Cortez with a shard of glass.
  • Unnamed Thug - Stabbed by Sartana Rivera with her high heels.
  • Michael Booth - Shot by Senator John McLaughlin.
  • Unnamed White Supremacist - Blown up by Julio Junito.
  • Three Unnamed Immigrants - Shot by White Supremacist.
  • Two Unnamed White Supremacists - Shot by Immigrants.
  • Unnamed White Supremacist - Seen dead.
  • Unnamed White Supremacist - Crushed by an Immigrant with his car.
  • Two Unnamed Unnamed White Supremacists - Ran over by an Immigrant.
  • Nine Unnamed Unnamed White Supremacists - Slashed by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Six Unnamed White Supremacists - Shot by Isador "Machete" Cortez with his minigun-on-bike.
  • Three Unnamed White Supremacists - Shot by Luz/Shé.
  • Two Unnamed White Supremacists - Shot by Senator John McLaughlin.
  • Three Unnamed Immigrants - Shot by Von Jackson.
  • Von Jackson - Shot by Luz/Shé.
  • Rogelio Torrez - Stabbed by Isador "Machete" Cortez then he twisted the knife so he could die.
  • 16 Unnamed White Supremacists - Seen dead.
  • Senator John McLaughlin - Shot by White Supremacists after he lied to them.
    • Total - 98

Machete Kills[]

  • Unnamed Space Babe - Shot by a Henchman.
  • Unnamed Henchman - Shot by a Space Babe.
  • Three Unnamed Henchmen - Slashed by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Justin Bieber/Bleep - Shot by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Unnamed Soldier - Shot in the head by Jesus.
  • 14 Unnamed Soldiers - Shot by Cartel Members.
  • Jesus - Shot by Henchmen.
  • 16 Unnamed Cartel Members - Shot by Henchmen.
  • Two Unnamed Cartel Members - Slashed by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Two Unnamed Cartel Members - Decapitated by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Unnamed Cartel Member - Sliced in half by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Unnamed Cartel Member - Electrocuted after Isador "Machete" Cortez grabbed onto him and stabbed a fuse box.
  • Agent Sartana Rivera - Shot in the head by Luther Voz.
  • Cereza Mendez - Shot by Zazor on the orders of Marcos Mendez.
  • Three Unnamed Henchmen - Shot by Zazor on the orders of Marcos Mendez.
  • Unnamed Doctor - Shot by Zazor on the orders of Marcos Mendez.
  • Zazor - Guts slashed open then thrown into a helicopter by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Unnamed Henchman - Thrown into helicopter blades by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Eight Unnamed Henchmen - Sliced apart by a boat engine by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Unnamed Man - Shot by a Henchman.
  • Unnamed Man - Hung by Sheriff Doakes and Deputy Claiborne.
  • Three Unnamed Men - Shot by El Camaleón.
  • Unnamed Man - Shot by El Camaleón.
  • Unnamed Woman - Shot by El Camaleón.
  • Unnamed Man - Neck broken by Madame Desdemona.
  • 13 Unnamed Corrupt Federales - Killed by Marcos Mendez off-screen, mentioned.
  • Unnamed Corrupt Federale - Shot by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Unnamed Thug - Knife thrown at his head by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Four Unnamed Thugs - Slashed by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Two Unnamed Corrupt Federales - Blown up by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Unnamed Man - Shot by El Camaleón.
  • Grasa - Shot and blown up by Cartel Members.
  • Sheriff Doakes - Neck broken by Marcos Mendez.
  • Deputy Claiborne - Shot in the head by Marcos Mendez.
  • Marcos Mendez - Decapitated by Zazor (Clone).
  • Zazor (Clone) - Decapitated by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Zazor (Clone) - Decapitated by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Unnamed Man - Stabbed in the throat by Luther Voz.
  • Two Unnamed Henchmen - Imploded by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Four Unnamed Henchmen - Fused with car parts by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • 12 Unnamed Henchmen - Decapitated by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Unnamed Henchman - Ran over by Luz/She.
  • Unnamed Henchman - Shot by Osiris Amanpour.
  • Tito - Shot by Henchmen.
  • Two Unnamed Henchmen - Shot by Luz/She.
  • Unnamed Henchman - Stabbed in the head by Isador "Machete" Cortez.
  • Unnamed Man - Shot by La Camaleón.
  • Unnamed Man - Shot by La Camaleón.
  • El Camaleón - Shot by White Supremacists.
  • Two Unnamed Henchmen - Shot by Nurse Mona, Nurse Lisa and Nurse Fine.
  • Osiris Amanpour - Imploded by Luther Voz.
  • Three Unnamed Henchmen - Shot by Luz/She.
  • Two Unnamed Members of the Network - Shot by Zazor (Clone).
  • Two Unnamed Henchmen - Shot by Members of the Network.
  • Unnamed Henchman - Shot by Members of the Network.
  • Three Unnamed Members of the Network - Shot by "Miss San Antonio" Blanca Vasquez.
  • "Miss San Antonio" Blanca Vasquez - Stabbed in chest by Luz and then shot in the head.

Deaths[]

  • Total - 237
    • 229 Men
    • 8 Women

Kill Counts[]

  1. Isador "Machete" Cortez - 89 (Alive)
  2. Marcos Mendez - 20 (Deceased)
  3. Luz/She - 10 (Alive)
  4. El Camaleón/La Camaleón - 8 (Deceased)
  5. Michael Booth - 8 (Deceased)
  6. Zazor/Zazor (Clone) - 7 (Deceased)
  7. Senator John McLaughlin - 4 (Deceased)
  8. Padre Benicio Del Toro - 4 (Deceased)
  9. Von Jackson - 4 (Deceased)
  10. Luther Voz - 3 (Alive)
  11. "Miss San Antonio" Blanca Vasquez - 3 (Deceased)
  12. Rogelio Torrez - 3 (Deceased)
  13. Nurse Mona - 2 (Alive)
  14. Nurse Lisa - 2 (Alive)
  15. Nurse Fine - 2 (Alive)
  16. Agent Sartana Rivera - 2 (Deceased)
  17. Madame Desdemona - 1 (Alive)
  18. Julio Junito - 1 (Alive)
  19. Osiris Amanpour - 1 (Deceased)
  20. Jesus - 1 (Deceased)
  21. Sheriff Doakes - 1 (Deceased)
  22. Deputy Claiborne - 1 (Deceased)
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