Existential Comics is an American satirical webcomic made by Corey Mohler. It comically portrays philosophers by taking their theories to an extreme. The comics usually include notes at the bottom which provides information about the philosophers' real world ideas.
The webcomic premiered in November 12, 2013 and runs to this day.
Victims[]
Official Comics[]
The Machine[]
- Two Unnamed Men – Disintegrated by a teleportation machine by employees of a teleportation center off-panel. (All Debatable)
- Unnamed Woman - Disintegrated by a teleportation machine by employees of a teleportation center off-panel. (Debatable)
- Two Unnamed Men – Disintegrated by a teleportation machine by employees of a teleportation center off-panel. (All Debatable)
- Unnamed Woman - Disintegrated by a teleportation machine by employees of a teleportation center off-panel. (Debatable)
- Unnamed Man - Disintegrated by a teleportation machine by employees of a teleportation center off-panel. (Debatable)
- Unnamed Male Protagonist - Disintegrated by a teleportation machine by employees of a teleportation center. (Debatable)
- Clone(?) of an Unnamed Male Protagonist – Died of old age.
- Total - 9 (8 Debatable)
Nelson Goodman drowns his sorrows[]
- None
The Problems of Philosophers[]
- None
Pyrrho wins the lottery[]
- None
A Dialog with a Madman[]
- None
Beetle in a Box[]
- None
Kierkegaard at the Rave[]
- None
In which Peter Singer investigates a basement flood[]
- None
The Adventures of Fallacy Man[]
- None
Logicians Find a Genie[]
- Two Unnamed Male Logicians - Starved to death in a desert off-panel, after the comic ended.
- Total - 2
Bad news at the Doctor[]
- None
Plotinus was a helluva cardshark[]
- None
How to Quit Smoking[]
- None
How Philosophy is Made[]
- None
Turing Test[]
- None
Kafka at the DMV[]
- None
Sartre and Hobbes play Monopoly[]
- None
The Wrath of the Sea[]
- Unnamed Man – Crashed into a clif by a huge wave or drowned by a huge wave off-panel.
- Squirell – Crashed into a clif by a huge wave or drowned by a huge wave off-panel.
- Unnamed Man – Killed by a jaguar off-panel.
- Total - 3
The Germans Play Monopoly[]
- None
Kierkegaard wasn't really the greatest at small talk.[]
- None
The Adventures of Fallacy Man part II: A Worthy Foe[]
- None
Maimonides on the Nature of God[]
- None
Dungeons & Dragons & Philosophers[]
- None
The Sniper[]
- Unnamed Male High-Ranking Member of the Viet Cong Army - Shot twice by an unnamed soldier with a sniper rifle.
- Total - 1
The Splash[]
- None
Language Games: Philosophers Play Pictionary[]
- None
Philosophy 101[]
- None
Dungeons & Dragons & Philosophers II: The Analytic Turn[]
- None
We Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy[]
- None
The Analytics at the Bar[]
- None
Diogenes's Lantern[]
- Diogenes the Cynic/Diogenes the Dog/Diogenes of Sinope - Shot to death by Abraham Lincoln with a machine gun. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
Dungeons & Dragons & Philosophers III: Ladies' Night at the Dragon's Den[]
- None
Two Brothers[]
- The Brothers' Unnamed Father - Died of old age.
- Total - 1
Risk: a Game of Conquest, a Game of Philosophy[]
- None
World Cup Philosophy: Germany vs France[]
- None
The Sighting[]
- None
Buried Treasure[]
- None
Mister Nozick's Neighborhood[]
- None
Immanuel Kant: Fresh Prince of Philosophy[]
- None
Schopenhauer and Hegel[]
- None
Existential Radio[]
- None
A Dialogue on Happiness[]
- None
The Best of All Possible Video Games[]
- None
The Philosopher King[]
- Plato - Stabbed through a stomach by an unnamed Persian soldier. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
Dungeons & Dragons & Philosophers IV: The Interdisciplinary Disaster[]
- None
Authentic Man[]
- None
Captain Metaphysics and the Ghost in the Machine[]
- None
A lesson in Stoicism from Marcus Aurelius[]
- None
The Philosophy of the Science of Poker[]
- None
Zeno and Zeno[]
- None
Philosophy Tech Support[]
- None
Fastest Gun in the Continent[]
- None
The Medicis[]
- None
The Long Walk[]
- The Evil King - Killed by a storm off-panel. Mentioned.
- Total - 1
Greek Hold'em[]
- None
Mad Philosophy[]
- None
Captain Metaphysics and the Mereological Monster[]
- Mereological Monster - Disintegrated completely after being punched by Captain Metaphysics.
- Total - 1
Candyland and the Nature of the Absurd[]
- None
David Chalmers and the Panpsychists[]
- None
The Auto-Icon[]
- Jeremy Bentham (Auto-Icon) - Run over by a trolley off-panel, after the comic ended, after being cut in half with a sword and tied to the tracks with a rope by Philippa Foot (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
The Dark Knight of Faith[]
- Unnamed Man - Dropped from a building by Soren Kierkegaard
- Total - 1
The Return Counter[]
- None
Ambiguity Woman[]
- None
The Bar Tab[]
- None
The Philosophy Superbowl[]
- None
Existential Cooking[]
- None
Philosophy Humans[]
- David John Chalmers - Turned into a zombie by a toxic waste off-panel before the comic started. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Daniel Clement Dennett III/Dan Dennett - Turned into a zombie by a toxic waste off-panel before the comic started. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Unnamed Man - Turned into a zombie by a toxic waste off-panel before the comic started.
- Unnamed Human - Got brain pulled out of their by David Chalmers off-panel before the comic started. Brain shown.
- Unnamed Human - Got brain pulled out of their by Dan Dennett off-panel before the comic started. Brain shown.
- Unnamed Human - Got brain pulled out of their skull off-panel before the comic started by an unnamed zombie. Body and brain shown.
- Total - 6
Twelve Angry Philosophers[]
- None
Stoicism Man[]
- None
A Dialogue on Compatibilism[]
- None
Islamic Holdem'[]
- None
Existential Birthday[]
- None
It Awoke[]
- It - died of exhaustion (Debatable)
- Total - 1
Pokemon Philosophy[]
- None
The Most Ubermensch Man in the World[]
- None
The Socratic Method[]
- None
Dungeons & Dragons & Philosophers V: The Battle of Five Philosophers[]
- None
Crazy Christian Eights[]
- None
Existential Office[]
- Ivan Sergeyevich Turgenev - Murdered by Fyodor Dostoyevsky off-panel. Mentioned. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
Philosophical Investigations[]
- Rudolf Carnap - Stabbed to death by Gottlob Frege with a knife off-panel before the comic started. Body shown. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
Descartes's Demon[]
- None
Captain Metaphysics and the Wizard of Elea[]
- Bird of Unknown Species - Killed off-panle to be made into food. Drumstick shown.
Philosophy News Network[]
- None
Newton and Leibniz[]
- Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz - Died of old age off-panel. Went to Super Heaven. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
Sartre: A Show About Nothingness[]
- None
Silicon Valley Philosophy[]
- None
Despair Bears[]
- None
Philosophy News Network: The Death of God[]
- God - Accidentally killed Himself by overdosing on Enlightenment thinking off-panel before the comic started. Mentioned.
- George Berkeley - Hacked in the head by Fyodor Dostoyevsky with an axe. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Sir Michael Anthony Eardley Dummett - Hacked in the back by Fyodor Dostoyevsky with an axe. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 3
Analytic Office[]
- None
Philosophy Club[]
- None
A Dialogue on Morality[]
- None
Star Trek: but instead of normal, it's with philosophers[]
- None
Skeptiholics Anonymous[]
- None
Philosophy as Therapy[]
- None
Hypatia of Alexandria and the Seven Presocratics[]
- None
Philosophy News Network: the Presidential Debates[]
- None
The Weeping Philosopher[]
- None
Harry Potter and the set of all sets that do not contain themselves[]
- Tom Marvolo Riddle/Lord Voldemort - Turned to dust after Harry Potter reflected Voldemort's set theory back at him by using a set of all sets that do not contain themselves.
- Total - 1
Existential Shopping Network[]
- None
The "Apology"[]
- Socrates - Committed suicide by drinking hemlock off-panel after the comic ended due to being sentenced to death by the Athenian court. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
Sartre's Waiter[]
- None
Sorry! And the Nature of Suffering[]
- None
Star Wars: but instead of normal, it's with philosophers[]
- Emperor Rene Descartes - Thrown into the Main Reactor Core of Death Star by Darth Malebranche while he was being controlled by God. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Nicolas Malebranche/Darth Malebranche - Involuntarily committed suicide by choking himself while being controlled by God. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 2
A very spooky philosophy Halloween[]
- None
Sartre: a Show About Nothingness 2[]
- None
Trolley Madness[]
- None
Objection![]
- Unnamed Female Pawn Broker - Murdered by Fyodor Dostoyevsky off-panel before the comic started. Referenced.
- Total - 1
Gottfried Leibniz and the Quest for the Holy Grail[]
- Unnamed Male Bridgekeeper - Thrown into the gorge by magic after Socrates asked him to specify his question about the nature of justice.
- Total - 1
Albert Camus: the Absurd Hero[]
- None
We must imagine Sisyphus as having a hard time readjusting to civilian life[]
- None
Alien Wisdom[]
- None
A Visit From St. Marx[]
- Unnamed Male Burgeoisie - Shot to death by St. Marx with a machine gun while being constrained by Che Guevara and Leon Trotsky. Shared kill.
- Total - 1
Snakes and Ladders and the Nature of Virtue[]
- None
The Dancer[]
- Unnamed Blue Creature - Killed by a red creature off-panel.
- Unnamed Red Creature - Hit by a blue creature with a mace off-panel.
- Unnamed Blue Creature - Impaled by a red creature protagonist with a spear.
- Unnamed Red Creature Protagonist - Hacked by a blue creature with an axe.
- Two Unnamed Red Creatures - Killed by blue creatures off-panel.
- Total - 6
Good Cop, Pragmatist About the Nature of Truth Cop[]
- Socrates - Committed suicide by drinking hemlock off-panel after the comic ended due to being sentenced to death by the Athenian court, which's decision was influenced by Charles Sander Peirce. Shared kill. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
Philosophy and the City[]
- None
Wittgenstein's Monster[]
- None
CSI: Athens[]
- Zeno of Elea - Shot through the hearth by Pythagoras with a bow off-panel before the comic started. Body shown. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Archimedes - Stabbed to death by Pythagoras. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 2
In which John Rawls is a bad tipper.[]
- None
Walden; or, Life in the Woods[]
- None
Captain Metaphysics and the Ship of Theseus[]
- None
Rebel Without a Constant Conjunction[]
- Immanuel Kant - Accidentally drove off a cliff because his wig got caught by his car's seat. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
The Twilight Zone, with Slavoj Zizek[]
- None
The Very Hungry Caterpillar Who Then Came to Realize That Life Was Meaningless[]
- None
Philosophy Overdose[]
- None
The Incoherence of the Philosophers[]
- None
Dungeons and Dragons and Philosophers VI: The Angsty Dragon of Angst[]
- None
Wise or Not Wise[]
- None
Ancient Greek Office[]
- None
Epictetus was a hardass professor[]
- None
The Vindication of the Rights of Mary Wollstonecraft[]
- None
Philosophically Curious George and the Limits of Empiricism[]
- None
Epicureanism: The Original Party School[]
- None
Cartesian Roommates[]
- None
The French Play Monopoly[]
- None
Marxist Business Consulting[]
- Alice O'Connor/Ayn Rand - Shot to death by her employees with machine guns led by Karl Marx and Karl Kautsky after the comic ended. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
Socratesman[]
- None
Product Testing[]
- None
Terminator: The Simone de Beauvoir Chronicles[]
- Two Male Rebels - Killed by a terminator off-panel. Bodies shown.
- Unnamed Terminator - Shot by a clone of Fyodor Dostoyevsky with a rifle.
- Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky (Clone) - Shot in the back of his head by Bentham-9000 with a gun. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Bentham-9000 - Shot through the mouth by Simone de Beauvoir with a shotgun. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 5
Existential Hour[]
- None
A robbery at the Wittgenstein Bank[]
- None
Zeno and Zeno: the case of the milk[]
- None
Captain Metaphysics and the Extreme Skeptic[]
- None
Philosopher under the bed[]
- None
Athenian Park[]
- None
The Bar Fight[]
- None
Dead Philosopher in Heaven[]
- Nick Gibbs - Died of unknown cause off-panel, before the comic started. Taken to the Heaven by God. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
The Young Hegelians[]
- None
Bertrand Russell on the Job Market[]
- None
Nietzsche tries speed dating[]
- None
The Next Great Stoic Competition[]
- None
Sexy Vampires and Existential Philosophy[]
- Albert Camus - Turned himself into a vampire by drinking Simone de Beauvoir's blood with her permission. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Albert Camus - Stabbed in the hearth by Soren Kierkegaard with a wooden stake at Simone de Beauvoir's request. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 2
Socrates on the Lake[]
- Metlitus - Drowned in a lake.
- Total - 1
Karl Marx: Hostage Negotiator[]
- None
Jury Selection[]
- None
The Consolation of Philosophy[]
- Anicius Manlius Severinus Boethius - Executed off-panel, after the comic ended, after being sentenced to death by the Roman politicians (Fictional portrayal)
- Total - 1
Dog Philosophy[]
- None
Cat Philosophy[]
- None
Anarchist Monopoly[]
- None
The Beautiful and the Sublime[]
- None
Friedrich Nietzsche: Director of Human Resources[]
- None
Immanuel Kant: the 40 Year Old Virgin[]
- None
The Death of Hypatia[]
- Hypatia - Burnt to death by two Christians. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
The Philosophy Friends[]
- None
The Hague Congress of 1872[]
- None
Sartre's Muse[]
- None
France's Next Great Philosopher[]
- None
Albert Camus, Existential Agent[]
- None
Office Realpolitik[]
- None
The Vienna Circle Faces a Crisis of Logical Positivism[]
- None
The Philosophy of Teenage Language[]
- None
Existential Daycare[]
- None
Philosophy Jeopardy[]
- None
Kierkegaard Relates to the Common Man[]
- None
The Council of Elrond[]
- None
Kant Goes to Poker Night[]
- None
Socrates Gets Socrates'd[]
- None
Door to Door Existentialism[]
- None
Stoic School Athletics[]
- None
A Day in the Life of Albert Camus[]
- None
A Presocratic Get Together[]
- None
Captain Metaphysics and the Postmodern Peril[]
- None
The Life of Francis[]
- Francis Bacon - Sentenced to Crucifixion by the rationalist authorities. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
Wittgenstein in the Great War[]
- Unnamed Man - Killed in a battle.
- Unnamed General - Killed by explosion during a battle.
- Total - 2
Philosophy News Network: Derrida Arrested[]
- None
Mad Marx: The Class Warrior[]
- Friedrich August von Hayek - Shot in the chest by Karl Marx with his "Class Consiousness (sic)" gun. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Alice O'Connor/Ayn Rand - Shot in the head by Karl Marx with his "Class Consiousness (sic)" gun while being constrained by her employees. Shared kill. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 2
It's Always Sunny in Paris[]
- None
Cartesian Office[]
- None
The Pythagoreans[]
- Hippasus - Stabbed in the chest by Pythagoras with a knife.
- Total - 1
The Philosophy Force Five vs the Scientismists[]
- None
Philosophy News Network: Philosophy Solved[]
- None
Emo Socrates[]
- Gorgias' Cat - Died of unknown cause off-screen. Mentioned.
- Total - 1
It's Always Sunny in Paris 2[]
- None
Schopenhauer's Mom[]
- None
Dungeons and Dragons and Philosophers VII: Left Wing Adventures[]
- None
Philosophy Infomercial[]
- None
The True Meaning of Life[]
- None
Captain Metaphysics and the Problem of Language[]
- None
Philosophy News Network: Strike[]
- None
The Philosophical Duel[]
- Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz - Shot in the chest by Parmenides with a gun. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Parmenides of Elea - Shot in the chest by Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz with a gun. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 2
Stoicism Bootcamp[]
- None
Superphilosopher[]
- Two Unnamed Male Superphilosophers - Died off-screen when giant quakes caused Minerva to explode.
- Immanuel Kant's Unnamed Father - Died off-screen when giant quakes caused Minerva to explode.
- 7,657,864,832 Supephilosophers - Died off-screen when giant quakes caused Minerva to explode, minus already counted two philosophers and Kant's father and surviving Immanuel Kant.
- David Hume - Burnt to death by Immanuel Kant with his heat ray vision. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 7,657,864,836
The 100% True Story of the Writing of the Communist Manifesto[]
- None
Existential Ad Agency[]
- None
Philosophers at the Casino[]
- None
Pure Ideology, by MC Zizek[]
- None
Hegel and Fichte[]
- None
Nietzsche at the Bar[]
- None
Anarchist Milk[]
- None
Pokémon Revolution[]
- Ash Ketchum - Killed off-panel during the Pokemon Revolution led by Lucario. (Debatable)
- Total - 1
Social Contract Theory: The Game[]
- None
Sherlock Hume[]
- Unnamed Man - Shot in the head by his wife off-panel before the comic started. Body seen.
- Total - 1
The Death of Schopenhauer[]
- Arthur Schopenhauer - Died of pulmonary-respiratory failure off-panel before the comic started. Went to Heaven. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
The Amazing Descartes[]
- None
Existential Chess[]
- None
Thales Invents Philosophy[]
- None
In Which Nietzsche Learns the True Meaning of Christmas[]
- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche - Died of pneumonia off-panel after the comic ended. Predicted. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
Philosophy News Network: Postmodernism Special Report[]
- None
Diogenes and Plato[]
- None
Existentialism at the Beach[]
- None
Hegel and the March of History[]
- None
Escape from Plato's Cave[]
- Three Unnamed Male Ninjas - Beaten to death by Plato using his karate moves. (Debatable)
- Unnamed Robot - Karate-kicked in the head by Plato.
- Unnamed Robot - Shot to death by Plato with a gun.
- Unnamed Male Ninja - Shot in the chest by Plato with a rifle.
- Unnamed Male Ninja - Shot by Plato with a rifle.
- Total - 7
Socrates 101[]
- None
The Postmodernists[]
- None
Good Cop, Existential Despair Cop[]
- None
Jenga and the Meaning of Life[]
- None
Philosophy News Network: The Evil Demon[]
- Utility Monster - Accidentally committed suicide off-panel by overdosing on happiness. Referenced in news text.
- Total - 1
Existential Werewolves[]
- None
Fear and Tremblin Factor[]
- None
Philosophers And Physicists[]
- None
Buddha and Hume[]
- None
Law and Philosophy[]
- None
Plato and the Poets[]
- None
Desert Island Economics[]
- None
The Look[]
- None
Utilitarianism Party[]
- None
Wisdom Lovers[]
- None
The Monument[]
TBA
Inappropriate Reading Material[]
- None
Business Ethics, with Karl Marx[]
- None
The Blind Philosopher[]
- None
Philosophy Round Table: Human Nature[]
- None
Philosophy Comedy Club, with Karl Marx[]
- None
Sartre and the Chestnut Tree[]
- None
Wittgenstein's Lion[]
- None
Life Decisions[]
- None
Anarchy in the UK[]
- None
In Which Jean-Paul Sartre Attempts to Return Some Socks[]
- None
The Game of Life[]
- None
A Brief History of Metaphysics[]
- None
Adorno Returns[]
- None
The Vienna Circle Solves Philosophy[]
- None
The Utilitarian Calculator[]
- None
Punk Rock Philosophy[]
- None
Freudian Therapy[]
- None
Schopenhauer at the Market[]
- None
The Frankfurt Four[]
- Jacques Derrida - Burnt to death by Erich Fromm with a fire blast. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
An Ethical Dilemma Finally Resolved[]
- None
A Dialogue on Freedom[]
- None
Green Eggs and the Absurd[]
- None
Super Mario and the Meaning of Life[]
- Unnamed Bullet Bill - Jumped on the head by Super Mario.
- Unnamed Fake Bowser - Fell into lava off-panel when Super Mario hit an axe.
- Unnamed Blooper - Shot by Super Mario with a fireball.
- Total - 3
The Temptations of Augustine[]
- None
Karl Marx's Day Off[]
- None
Stoic Relationship Advice[]
- None
Doctor of Philosophy[]
- Unnamed Man - Died of unknown cause after fainting.
- Total - 1
Karl Marx Gets a Job[]
- None
Hume and Avicenna[]
- None
Is a Hotdog a Sandwich? A Definitive Study.[]
- None
Schopenhauer and Buddha[]
- None
Captain Metaphysics and the Swampman[]
- Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz - Struck by lighting. Revived when Captain Metaphysics punched his body rearranging his molecules to how they were before the lighting killed him. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz (Swampman) - Disintegrated after Captain Metaphysics punched him. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 2
Epictetus Has a Bad Day[]
- Epictetus' Wife - Died in a house fire off-panel. Mentioned.
- Total - 1
Philosophy Job Interview[]
- None
In Which Friedrich Nietzsche is a Fan of the Cleveland Browns[]
- None
Socrates the Cop[]
- None
The Vienna Circle Solves Humor[]
- None
Humean Child Raising[]
- None
Aladdin's Wish[]
- None
Back to the Future[]
- None
Wittgenstein Plays Scrabble[]
- None
Potluck Economics[]
- None
Philosophy Booth[]
- None
Nietzsche Takes a Student[]
- None
The Last Chance at Happiness, with Jeremy Bentham[]
- Adam/@UGLYADAM - Killed off-panel by Last Chance at Happiness employees at Jeremy Bentham's request.
- Jacob - Killed off-panel by Last Chance at Happiness employees at Jeremy Bentham's request.
- Total - 2
James Bond vs Ludwig Wittgenstein[]
- None
Freud and Popper[]
- None
Stoic Apathy[]
- None
Meinong's Jungle and the Quest for the Married Bachelor[]
- None
Sartre Advises a Student[]
- Unnamed Man - Killed in a war off-panel before the comic started. Mentioned.
- Total - 1
Philosophy Emergency[]
- None
Zeno's Pyramid[]
- None
Wittgenstein Revises His Thesis[]
- None
Principal Kant[]
- None
Philosophy News Network: Science Solves Philosophy[]
- None
What is Existentialism?[]
- None
The Secret History of Philosophy[]
- None
Aristotle's Golden Mean[]
- None
Immanual Kant Writes His Dating Profile[]
- None
Contemplations on Eternity[]
- None
French Radical Eye for the Conservative Guy[]
- Unnamed Man - Beheaded with a guillotine after being sentenced to death by Order of the Revolutionary Tribunal.
- Maximilien François Marie Isidore de Robespierre - Beheaded with a guillotine after being sentenced to death by Order of the Revolutionary Tribunal. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Edmund Burke - Beheaded with a guillotine after being sentenced to death by Order of the Revolutionary Tribunal. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 3
We Must Imagine Sisyphus as having Met Camus[]
- None
Hegel's Last Words[]
- None
Jeremy Bentham Designs a Prison[]
- None
Bertrand Russell has a Near Death Experience[]
- None
Dungeons & Dragons & Philosophers VIII: the Sci-fi Debate[]
- None
Kierkegaard at the Dentist[]
- None
Simone Weils Gives a Convincing Argument[]
- None
Wittgenstein Teaches Elementary School[]
- None
Thus Spoke Zarathustra[]
- None
A Brief History of Philosophical Skepticism[]
- None
Nietzsche and Wagner[]
- None
Hegel![]
- None
Marxist Financial Advice[]
- None
Cthulhu Rises[]
- Unnamed Man - Killed by Cthulhu off-panel after the comic ended.
- 7,828,906,283 Unnamed People on Earth - Killed by Cthulhu off-panel after the comic ended, minus already counted one man.
- Total - 7,828,906,284
A Brief History of Ethical Theories[]
- None
Nietzsche Gets a Bad Performance Review[]
- None
Braveheart's Speech[]
- Unnamed Male English Soldier - Killed off-panel by William Wallace's army. Body shown.
- King Edward I of England/Longshanks - Stabbed in the chest by Karl Marx with a sword under leadership of William Wallace. (Fictional portrayal)
- Total - 2
Eowyn Kills the Witch King[]
- Witch-king of Angmar - Stabbed in the face by Eowyn with a sword.
- Total - 1
The Philosophy of a Good Party[]
- None
Career Counseling[]
- None
Wittgenstein Solves Philosophy[]
- None
Stupid Meaning of Life[]
- None
Plato Produces a Play[]
- None
Stoic Advice[]
- Epictetus - Stabbed in the stomach by an unnamed man with a sword. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
Utilitarian Dictator[]
- None
Karl Marx Job Interview[]
- None
Philosophy News Network: Should We All Just Kill Ourselves or What?[]
- None
Thales Picks Water[]
- None
Why Do Philosophy?[]
- None
Humean Seduction[]
- None
Simone Weil vs the Existentialists[]
- None
John Searle Enters the Matrix[]
- None
Freedom and Battleship[]
- None
Philosophy During a Pandemic[]
- None
Philosopher's Beard[]
- None
Philosopher's Challenge[]
- None
Scooby-Doo and the Case of the Missing Landlords[]
- None
Coach Epictetus[]
- None
The Ambitions of Philosophy[]
- None
Philosophers and Drugs[]
- None
The Marketplace of Ideas[]
- None
Bertrand Russell Invents Analytic Philosophy[]
- None
Foucault Builds a School[]
- Paul-Michel Foucault - Committed suicide by jumping through his school's window. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
Socrates Invents Western Civilization[]
- Socrates - Committed suicide after the comic ended by drinking hemlock after the comic ended due to being sentenced to death by the Athenian court off-panel. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
Anarchist Organizing[]
- None
The Ghost of Existentialism[]
- None
Existential Despair Hotline[]
- None
Hegel and the End of History[]
- None
Angela Davis vs the Liberal Reformers[]
- None
John Rawls and the Original Position[]
None
Even Freakier Friday[]
None
The Life and Philosophy of Michel Foucault[]
None
The Elflord and the Mayfly[]
- Unnamed Mayfly Protagonist - Died of old age.
- Total - 1
Sartre Writes Nausea[]
- None
The Philosophy of Humor[]
- None
Schopenhauer's Despair[]
- None
Turing Tests and Other Things of That Nature[]
- None
Three Little Philosophers of Science[]
- None
The Wise Man on the Mountain[]
- None
Eternal Recurrence[]
- None
The Ethics of Ambiguity[]
- None
The Invention of Philosophy[]
- None
Diotima Teaches Socrates Love[]
- None
Rational Self Interest[]
- Alice O'Connor/Ayn Rand - Beheaded by her employees with a guillotine after the comic ended. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
Philosophy News Network: is Philosophy Useless?[]
- None
Marxist Brainstorming[]
- None
Husserl Defends His Dissertation[]
- None
A Seducer's Diary[]
- None
Captain Metaphysics and the Philosophical Zombie[]
- None
Herbert Spencer Visits Pittsburgh[]
- Unnamed Man - Died of exhaustion while working for Andrew Carnegie.
- Total - 1
Kierkegaard's Despair[]
- None
All Men Are Mortal[]
- Unnamed Man - Died of old age off-panel.
- Unnamed Man - Burnt on a stake by at least two Christians.
- Two Unnamed Male Christians - Died of old age off-panel.
- Unnamed Native American of Unknown Gender - Killed by the European colonizers.
- Two Unnamed Native Americana of Unknown Gender - Killed off-panel by the European colonizers.
- Unnamed Male European Colonizer - Died of old age off-panel.
- Unnamed Woman - Killed off-panel.
- Two unnamed Men - Died of old age off-panel.
- Four Unnamed German Soldiers - Either died in war of old old age off-panel.
- Total - 15
Socratic Love[]
- Socrates - Tricked or convinced into drinking hemlock off-panel by an unnamed woman. Mentioned. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
Verificationist Man[]
- None
Desert Island Philosophy[]
- None
Philosophical Discussion Group[]
- None
Zera Yacob[]
- Unnamed Male Catholic - Tied to a tree and stabbed to death by Catholics with spears.
- Total - 1
Philosophy Anonymous[]
- None
The State of Nature: Hobbes vs Rousseau[]
- None
Freud and Jung Split Over Differences[]
- None
Fireworks and a Theory of Language[]
- None
Thomas More's Utopia[]
- None
Communism Store[]
- None
Galileo and the Empirical Technique[]
- None
Philosophers Rebuild Society[]
- 7,922,605,842 Unnamed People on Earth - Killed off-panel by a meteor, minus surviving Adam Smith, Bertrand Russel, Peter Kropotkin, Plato and Thomas Hobbes. Referenced.
- Adam Smith - Struck in the head by Thomas Hobbes with a rock. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell - Starved to death off-panel after the comic ended. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Peter Alexeyevich Kropotkin/Pyotr Alexeyevich Kropotkin - Starved to death off-panel after the comic ended. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Plato - Starved to death off-panel after the comic ended. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Thomas Hobbes - Starved to death off-panel after the comic ended. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 7,922,605,847
The History of Philosophy From the Perspective of Chicken Enchiladas[]
- None
Calvin and Thomas Hobbes[]
- None
Philosophy at the Olympics[]
- None
Communist Brainstorming[]
- None
Hobbes, Locke, and Very Silly Hats[]
- Thomas Hobbes - Beaten to death by an unnamed man. (Fictional Portrayal)
- John Locke - Beaten to death by two unnamed men. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 2
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Question[]
- None
A Postmodern Villain[]
- None
Sartrean Freedom[]
- None
Kierkegaard Goes to Therapy[]
- None
Socrates Through Time[]
- Unnamed Female Heathen- Burnt on a stake by two Christians.
- Socrates - Committed suicide by drinking hemlock (Fictional Portrayal) (Debatable)
- Total - 2
A Day in the Life of Arthur Schopenhauer[]
- None
Presocratic Staff Meeting[]
- None
Meditations on Second Philosophy[]
- None
Dostoyevsky Find Other Employment[]
- Unnamed Woman - Died of unknown cause off-panel. Mentioned.
- Unnamed Person - Fell to his death after driving his carriage on Fyodor Dostoyevsky's intentionally collapsible bridge.
- Horse - Fell to his death after pulling the carriage on Fyodor Dostoyevsky's intentionally collapsible bridge.
- Total - 3
The Unexamined Life[]
- None
The Philosophers Dating Game[]
- None
Super Academics[]
- None
Philosophical Mythbusters[]
- Unnamed Fat Man - Pushed into a moving train by Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman off-panel, after the comic ended.
- Total - 1
Francis Bacon Invents Science[]
- None
Philosopher's Cookoff[]
- None
Socratic Emergency[]
- None
Thales and the Olive Presses[]
- None
On The Usefulness of Philosophy[]
- None
Nietzsche Faces the Modern Age[]
- None
Fear and Loathing in French Phenomenology[]
- Four Crabs - Run over by Michel Foucault with his car.
- Total - 4
Existentialism at the Peephole[]
- None
Stoicism City[]
- Unnamed Man - Burnt to death after Seneca's city was burnt to the ground at Agamemnon's order.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca the Younger - Burnt to death after Seneca's city was burnt to the ground at Agamemnon's order. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 2
Pride and Prejudice and Logical Positivism[]
- None
Immanuel Kant's Day Off[]
- None
Sun Tzu vs Machiavelli[]
- None
In Which Bertrand Russell Asks Out a Girl[]
- None
Nietzsche Fights the Law[]
- None
Explaining Capitalism to Aliens[]
- None
Philosophy News Network: Street Philosophy[]
- None
Lassie Saves the Day[]
- Timmy Martin - Drowned to death after accidentally falling down the well and being neglected by Paul, Lassie and the forrest ranger.
- Total - 1
Camus Teaches Elementary School[]
- None
The Owl of Minerva[]
- Unnamed Squirrel - Killed by the owl of Minerva
- Total - 1
The End of the Dinosaurs[]
- None
Immanuel Kant on Sex[]
- None
Anarchy on the Street[]
- None
Utilitarianism Man[]
- Two Unnamed Men - Died when a train fell into the sea off-panel, after the comic ended.
- Unnamed Woman- Died when a train fell into the sea off-panel, after the comic ended.
- Total - 3
The Wisdom of Aristotle[]
- None
Nietzsche Returns[]
- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche - Committed suicide by returning to his grave. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
An Exact Scientific Birthday[]
- None
Dostoevsky and the Meaning of Suffering[]
- None
Uncomfortable Truths[]
- None
Brave Sir Marx[]
- Unnamed Duke - Beheaded off-panel by Sir Karl Marx with a sword.
- Total - 1
Philosophy Department[]
- Five Unnamed Male Factory Workers - Extinguished by two members of philosophy department with a hose and water.
- Unnamed Female Factory Worker - Extinguished by two members of philosophy department with a hose and water.
- Unnamed Male Philosophy Department Employee - Extinguished by a members of philosophy department with a hose and water.
- Total - 7
Super Philosophers[]
- None
Raccoons and the Meaning of Life[]
- None
Philosophy and Traffic[]
- None
The Ultimate Secret of Philosophy[]
- None
Utilitarian Strategies[]
- None
Iron Man and the Villains of Society[]
- None
Wittgenstein at the Zoo[]
- None
Existential Despair Club[]
- None
Presocratic Return Policy[]
- Parrot - Died of unknown cause off-panel.
- Total - 1
Robots and the Meaning of Life[]
- None
Socrates on the Street[]
- None
Flying Kites with Simone de Beauvoir[]
- None
Chimpanzee Capitalism[]
- Unnamed Capitalist Chimpanzee - Beaten to death by other chimpanzees.
- Total - 1
The Value of Philosophy[]
- None
Wake Up, Sartre[]
- None
Why Learn Math?[]
- None
Language Drinking Games[]
- None
Exact Scientific Definition of Cool[]
- None
Why Gather Nuts for Winter?[]
- Unnamed Squirrel - Starved to death off-panel because he decided not to gather nuts for winter.
- Total - 1
Fish Philosophy[]
- None
Socratic Civilization[]
- Socrates - Committed suicide by drinking hemlock due to being sentenced to death by the Athenian court off-panel. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
The Vastness of the Universe[]
- None
Wise King Inwagen[]
- King Peter van Inwagen - Stabbed in the chest by an unnamed woman with a spear. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 1
Philosophers and Time Travel[]
- None
The True Story of the Writing of Meditations on First Philosophy[]
- None
Philosophy in a Free Fall[]
- Albert Camus - Fell to his death after being kicked out from a flying airplane by an unnamed person. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell - Fell to his death after being kicked out from a flying airplane by an unnamed person. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard - Fell to his death after being kicked out from a flying airplane by an unnamed person. (Fictional Portrayal)
- Total - 3
Cows and the Meaning of Life[]
- George (Bull) - Killed off-panel in a slaughterhouse.
- Unnamed Cattle - Killed off-panel in a slaughterhouse.
- Total - 2
Harry Potter and the Transgender Problem[]
- None
Frege in the Public Square[]
- None
The Doctor and the Great Philosopher[]
- None
Philosophy Bootcamp[]
- None
Military Morality[]
- Six Unnamed People - Bombed in an airstrike ordered by an unnamed army general.
- Total - 6
Unofficial Comics[]
Sam Harris: Powerful Philosopher[]
- None
Sam Harris: Powerful Philosopher II[]
- None
Sam Harris: Powerful Philosopher III[]
- Two Unnamed People – Killed by David Hume with his mech off-panel.
- Total - 2
Berkeley's Car[]
- None
Kant's Birthday[]
- None
Free Will[]
- None
Monads at the Bar[]
- None
How to Draw Leibniz in Six Easy Steps[]
- None
Monad Jeopardy[]
- None
Monads for Dinner[]
- None
Monad Workplace[]
- None
Philosopher's Guide to the NFL[]
- None
How to Draw Karl Marx in Four Easy Steps[]
- None
How to Draw Jean-Paul Sartre in Six Easy Steps[]
- None
Mad Marx: Revolution Road[]
- None
Class Wars: the Proletariat Awaken[]
- None
Elon Musk: Greatest Man Alive[]
- None
Hidden Messages[]
- TBA
Deaths[]
- Total - 23,409,377,137 (14 Debatable) (So Far)
- Official Comics - 23,409,377,128 (14 debatable) (So Far)
- 15,751,512,170 (9 Debatable) Humans
- 15,751,512,140 Victims of Unknown Gender
- 112 (1 Debatable) Men
- 12 Women
- 7,657,864,835 Superphilosophers
- 7,657,864,832 Victims of Unknown Gender
- 3 Men
- 14 Animals (So Far)
- 4 Crabs (So Far)
- 3 Squirrels (So far)
- 2 Birds (So Far)
- 2 Cattle (So Far)
- 1 Cat (So Far)
- 1 Horse (So Far)
- 1 Monkey (So Far)
- 7 (1 Debatable) Unknown Creatures
- 4 Robots
- 2 Monsters
- 1 Blooper
- 1 Bullet Bill
- 1 Deity
- All Gods
- 1 Fake Bowser
- 1 Insect
- 1 Nazgul
- All Men
- 1 Possessed Auto-icon
- All Men
- 15,751,512,170 (9 Debatable) Humans
- Unofficial Comics - 2 (So Far)
- All Humans (So Far)
- All Victims of Unknown Gender (So Far)
- All Humans (So Far)
- Hidden Messages - None (So Far)
- Official Comics - 23,409,377,128 (14 debatable) (So Far)
Kill Counts[]
- Cthulhu - 7,828,906,284
- Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky - 7 (So Far)
- Plato - 7 (So Far)
- Karl Marx - 5 (So Far)
- Paul-Michel Foucault - 4 (So Far)
- Jeremy Bentham - 3 (So far)
- Pythagoras - 3 (So Far)
- Agamemnon - 2
- Captain Metaphysics - 2 (So Far)
- David Hume - 2 (So Far)
- God - 2 (So Far)
- Simone de Beauvoir - 2 (So Far)
- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard - 2 (So Far)
- Sir William Wallace - 2
- Abraham Lincoln - 1
- Adam Whitney Savage - 1
- Andrew Carnegie - 1
- Charles Sander Peirce - 1 (So Far)
- Daniel Clement Dennett III/Dan Dennett - 1 (So Far)
- David John Chalmers - 1 (So Far)
- Eowyn - 1
- Erich Seligmann Fromm - 1 (So Far)
- Ernesto "Che" Guevara - 1
- Friedrich Ludwig Gottlob Frege - 1 (So Far)
- Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz - 1 (So Far)
- Harry Potter - 1 (So Far)
- Immanuel Kant - 1 (So Far)
- James "Jamie" Franklin Hyneman - 1
- Karl Johann Kautsky - 1 (So Far)
- Lev Davidovich Bronstein/Leon Trotsky - 1
- Lucario - 1
- Mario Mario/Super Mario - 3
- Nicolas Malebranche - 1 (So Far)
- Owl of Minerva - 1
- Parmenides of Elea - 1 (So Far)
- Philippa Ruth Foot - 1 (So Far)
- Socrates - 1 (So Far)
- Thomas Hobbes - 1 (So Far)
Death Counts[]
- Socrates - 6 (So Far)
- Albert Camus - 3 (So Far)
- Alice O'Connor/Ayn Rand - 3 (So Far)
- Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz - 3 (So Far)
- Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell - 2 (So Far)
- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche - 2 (So far)
- Jeremy Bentham - 2 (So Far)
- Plato - 2 (So Far)
- Thomas Hobbes - 2 (So Far)
- Adam/@UGLYADAM - 1
- Adam Smith - 1 (So Far)
- Anicius Manlius Severinus Boethius - 1 (So Far)
- Archimedes - 1 (So Far)
- Arthur Schopenhauer - 1 (So Far)
- Ash Ketchum - 1
- Daniel Clement Dennett III/Dan Dennett - 1 (So Far)
- David Hume - 1 (So Far)
- David John Chalmers - 1 (So Far)
- Diogenes the Cynic/Diogenes the Dog/Diogenes of Sinope - 1 (So Far)
- Edmund Burke - 1 (So Far)
- King Edward I of England - 1
- Epictetus - 1 (So Far)
- Francis Bacon, 1st Viscount St Alban, 1st Lord Verulam - 1 (So Far)
- Friedrich August von Hayek - 1 (So Far)
- Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky - 1 (So Far)
- George (Bull) - 1
- George Berkeley - 1 (So Far)
- God - 1 (So Far)
- Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz (Swampman) - 1
- Hippasus - 1
- Hypatia - 1 (So Far)
- Immanuel Kant - 1 (So Far)
- Ivan Sergeyevich Turgenev - 1 (So Far)
- Jacob - 1
- Jacques Derrida - 1 (So Far)
- John Locke - 1 (So Far)
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca the Younger - 1 (So Far)
- Maximilien François Marie Isidore de Robespierre - 1
- Metlitus - 1
- Nicolas Malebranche - 1 (So Far)
- Nick Gibbs - 1
- Sir Michael Anthony Eardley Dummett - 1 (So Far)
- Parmenides of Elea - 1 (So Far)
- Paul-Michel Foucault - 1 (So Far)
- Peter Kropotkin/Pyotr Alexeyevich Kropotkin - 1 (So Far)
- Peter van Inwaagen - 1 (So Far)
- Rene Descartes - 1 (So Far)
- Rudolf Carnap - 1 (So Far)
- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard - 1 (So Far)
- Timmy Martin - 1
- Tom Marvolo Riddle/Lord Voldemort - 1 (So Far)
- Witch King of Angmar - 1
- Zeno of Elea - 1 (So Far)
Notes[]
- Due to the nature of this webcomic, characters' status of a hero, villain and neutral varies between individual comics. On this page, a character is listed in bold if they played a villainous role in the comic they died in and italic if they played heroic role in a comic they died in.
- In "The Machine", whether people who enter the teleportation machine are killed or not is left open to interpretation. Furthermore, the comic doesn't always use the term "death" in a conventional sense. For this reasons, deaths by the machines are listed as debatable.
- In "Dungeons & Dragons & Philosophers", Immanuel Kant's Dungeons & Dragons character, Sir Imperitus, is killed by a pack of orcs. However, because this isn't a real death, it's not counted.
- In "Dungeons & Dragons & Philosophers II: The Analytic Turn", Willard van Quine's Dungeons & Dragons character, Tully, gets hit by an ethereal finger shot by a lich. However, because this isn't a real death, it's not counted.
- In "Fastest Gun in the Continent", Satre is seen drawing an image of a cowboy version of himself killing a cowboy version of Martin Heidegger. However, because this isn't a real death, it's not counted.
- In "Stoicism Man", Friedrich Nietzsche chains and throws Zeno of Citium into space. In the real world, being in space would kill a person. However, Zeno is shown being able to speak normally while in space, meaning he doesn't die in the comic. so he isn't listed.
- In "Dungeons & Dragons & Philosophers V: The Battle of Five Philosophers", John Stuart Mill, Ayn Rand, Karl Marx and Max Stirner killed a dragon in a game of Dungeons and Dragons before the comic's start. However, because this is not a real death it isn't counted.
- In "Philosophy News Network: the Presidential Debates", Cyborg David Benatar ends a debate with murderous rampage. However, it's unknown how many people he killed and it seems he that he didn't kill any of the other named characters, Al Kindi, Gilles Deleuze, Jean Paul Sartre and Richard Rorty, because Simone de Beauvoir claims he leads other candidates after the debate. Because of this, no deaths are listed for that comic
- In "Objection!", Fyodor Dostoyevsky kills a female pawn broker with an axe. This is a reference to Rodion Raskolnikov killing a pawn broker, Alyona Ivanovna, in Crime and Punishment. Ivanovna is portrayed as a villainess in the book and part of Raskolnikov's rationalization for killing her is that she exploits and abuses other people. Because of that, the pawn broker Dostoyevsky kills likely has the same personality and will be listed in bold.
- For "Superphilosopher", World Population History for September 11, 2017 was used for number of superphilosophers who inhabited Minerva. September 11, 2017 is the date on which "Superphilosopher" was published.
- In "Pokémon Revolution", Lucario leads a communist revolution against Ash Ketchum and establishes a society in which the Pokemon are free. This comic is based on Vladimir Lenin leading a Russian Revolution. Lenin's actions led to establishment of dictatorship in which his political opponents were killed or imprisoned during the Red Terror. However, in the comic, it's left unclear whether Lucario also established repressive dictatorship and whether he had Ash killed or not, so Ash's death is listed as debatable.
- In "Good Cop, Existential Despair Cop", an unnamed man confesses to being a criminal. However, it's unknown what exact crime or crimes he committed, whether he killed any people and, if he did kill, how many people he killed. Because of this, nothing is listed for this comic.
- In "Existential Werewolves", werewolf Rudolf Carnap bites an unnamed man turning him into a werewolf. Because turning a person into a werewolf doesn't actually kill them, he isn't listed.
- A hidden message on "Fear and Tremblin Factor" says "Join us next week, where contestants will be commanded by God to kill their children, and they will have to grapple with the doubt that it isn't God at all, because there is a chance it might just be our producers trying to stir up drama for ratings." It's unknown how many contestants were there and how many children they did kill so nothing is counted.
- In "Adorno Returns", Adorno's death before the comic started isn't counted because it probably refers to his real world death.
- For Earth's population in "Cthulhu Rises", value from World Population History for November 4, 2019 was used. November 4, 2019 is the date "Cthulhu Rises" was published.
- In "Scooby Doo and the Case of Missing Landlord" Adam Smith killed numerous landlords off-panel. However, it's unknown how many he killed so they aren't listed.
- For Earth's population in "Philosophers Rebuild Society", value from World Population History for March 15, 2021 was used. March 15, 2021 is the date "Philosophers Rebuild Society" was published.
- In "Hobbes, Locke, and Very Silly Hats", a war against all breaks out, but it is unknown how many people die in it so they aren't counted.
- In "Stoicism City", Agamemnon orders an entire Seneca's city to be burnt to the ground. However, the total population of the city isn't given so it isn't listed.
- On hidden message in "Utilitarianism Man", Utilitarianism Man says that he killed other superheros and harvested their organs. However, it isn't stated how many superheros he killed so they aren't listed.
- In "Super Philosophers", a building is caught on fire and all the people who were inside got trapped and died. However, it's unknown how many people were in the building when it caught fire so they aren't listed. In the same comic, Super Scientists set another building on fire, burning everyone who was inside of it, but it's unknown how many people were there so they aren't listed.